How to spot mental health struggles in your child and help resolve them

For at least a decade, health experts have been warning about a youth mental health crisis. The pandemic only made matters worse, with more than 25% of youth globally reporting depressive symptoms and 20% anxiety symptoms, according to the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2021 advisory report.

School counselors can often provide the first line of defense for a student's mental health crisis and are a great local resource for families to use if they notice their child struggling, said Amanda Davis, assistant professor at Indiana Wesleyan University and a licensed school counselor.

“I think parents collaborating with a school counselor is a great way to determine if they should be worried about something and they can make referrals for parents who really need more assistance,” said Davis, chair of the Indiana School Counselor Association's board of directors.

Here's what experts say parents and guardians should know about their children's mental health:

Signs to look out for

Three critical signs suggest a student might be struggling, Davis said: a change in behavior, physical symptoms and or social interactions.

For physical symptoms a child might have more head or stomach aches or a change in sleeping patterns. Change in behavior include withdrawing from social interactions and increasing isolation.

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The most common concern school counselors are dealing with now is social anxiety and isolation issues that have arisen since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, they say.

“We’re seeing a lot in schools that students need to learn how to reconnect with each other and know how to cope with managing stress and anxiety,” Davis said.

What can parents/guardians do to help

How parents communicate with their children is important, Davis said. She suggests that parents maintain open and honest communication with their child to help them feel safe with them.

Davis recommends that parents create a safe environment for the child to talk about their feelings and that parents listen to their child "without any judgment."

Encouraging students to get involved with school activities, such as sports or another activity that the student is excited to do, allows them to feel connected to others. In that way this shared interest can help battle social anxiety and isolation, Davis said.

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Parents or guardians can also model healthy habits to their children, monitoring screen time and not shying away from being open about their struggles.

“I think the stigma of mental health can prevent us from seeking help,” Davis said. “But it’s so important for parents to say, I don’t know everything and it’s okay that I need help outside of this home.”

Monitor technology and social media usage

Northview Middle School counselor Molly Henry said many of her students’ problems stem from their overexposure to smartphones and social media.

Northview staff push hard to have students’ cellphones stay in their lockers throughout the school day, but counselors and teachers can’t control students’ usage away from school.

“Students end up bringing a lot of those issues with them then, whether that’s self-esteem issues that social media can cause or cyber bullying from group chats,” Henry said.

Henry recommends that parents hold off on getting their child a smartphone as long as they can. If a student needs a phone for communication reasons, Henry recommends a very basic phone that only calls and texts.

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If the student does have a smartphone, then Henry recommends parents set up strict boundaries of when their child can use the phone and for how long. She also suggests that students do not sleep in the same room as their phones.

“I just tell parents, it's your phone,” Henry said. “If you're the one paying for it and you have access and full rights, to implement as many boundaries with that phone as you want.”

Challenge your child to be heroic

North Central high school counselor Aaron Shelby recommends that parents continue to grow and expand just as they encourage their child to do.

Shelby recommends parents join a book discussion group, listen to audiobooks about personal development or hire a parenting coach.

“New knowledge and skills can boost your mental, physical, and spiritual capacity that will enable you to show up little by little as your most authentic, best most heroic expression of yourself for your child,” Shelby said.

Parents of older students, such as those in high school, should push their child to explore ways to contribute to their community, neighborhood, former elementary school, classroom or sports team, Shelby said.

“Teens who decide to contribute to the wellbeing and success of their friends, associates and younger peers are truly heroic,” Shelby said.

Preventative and mental health crisis resources

Be Well Indiana has online resources for families to use for various kinds of mental health needs ranging from children to adults.

Find easy activity guides and home checklists in both English and Spanish at Change the Frequency, which offers tips and ways to prioritize mental health wellness in your family: https://changethefrequency.today/

Having trouble putting a finger on what it is you are feeling? Then try an online mental health screener from Mental Health America: https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/?ref=bewellindiana

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has a teen and young adult HelpLine that connects young people looking for help with resources or a live person through text, call or online chat at nami.org/talktous.

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Not in a crisis situation but still want someone to talk to? Try calling Key Consumers, an Indianapolis-based non-crisis hotline that pairs people with peers who are also recovering from mental health challenges. The "warmline" operates from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday- Friday. To talk with someone call: 800-933-5397.  

Find a list of hospitals, community mental health centers and other local mental health here: https://www.in.gov/issp/find-help/resource-map/

If you or someone you know needs immediate help, you can call the 24/7 national suicide prevention lifeline by calling or texting 988.

Contact IndyStar reporter Caroline Beck at 317-618-5807 or CBeck@gannett.com. Follow her on Twitter: @CarolineB_Indy.

Caroline’s reporting is made possible by Report for America and Glick Philanthropies. As part of its work in Marion County, Glick Philanthropies partners with organizations focused on closing access and achievement gaps in education. 

Report for America is a program of The GroundTruth Project, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization dedicated to strengthening local newsrooms. Report for America provides funding for up to half of the reporter’s salary during their time with us, and IndyStar is fundraising the remainder.  

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